You pathetic group of people.. It’s not even funny anymore how pathetic this word suits you guys.. Because I know now why you people are such douchebags. Because your lives will remain static, pitiful. You despise me so much because I am going to become EVERYTHING you had ever dreamt of. No, not those little dreams or goals you had set yourselves. Those big, unimaginable dreams from which your minuscule dreams stem from. Yeah, those ones. The ones you knew you could NEVER reach so you settled for the least. I am going to kill you, oh no don’t worry you’ll die of natural causes and live a long life. But every time you see me accomplish more and more they will come feel similar to lacerations and the will to live and all your happiness will flow out from each wound. Then you will be left with the bitterness and hate inside you. You’ll swear I’ve put you under my genjutsu but this will be entirely real. Revenge is sweet.

Vans Vault Skate-Hi in premium Italian calf-skin for 30$ @ Nordstrom Rack. (Taken with instagram)

I am 20 years old now but I still look 16-17 and whenever I walk into a store, any store Macys/JCPenny/Sears/ any store for clothes for people who want that professional business kind of style they never pay any attention to me. I walked into Macys once and I walked up to an older gentleman to ask for for some dress shoes in my size and he didn’t let me finish and quickly said, “Restroom — Past the shoes to the left..” Without even looking up.

Most bike shops are owned by shady ass people. They overcharge and hustle kids out of their money and have NO SHAME! They are only nice to the customers they know or people who buy expensive shit but after a few days they forget your name.. I don’t know everything there is to know about a bike or how much every piece you need for a bike should cost or whatever but I do my research and do most labor on my bike myself unless I’m too lazy. I walked in a bike shop on Amar and Hacienda owned by some Asian guy asking how much would it be to get my headset pressed and sealed and he said, “Uhm…” looking me and my bike up and down, “About..” sweeping his face down and sitting back in to his chair eyes on the ground then to his laptop in a a single fluid motion whilst saying, “30$ and it wheel take an hour or more..” And in my mind I’m thinking, “wtf.. an hour or MORE? He isn’t even working on a bike right now or anythingg.. And $30?! FUCK THAT!” So I remember some bike guy who has a stand at a local swapmeet had given me his card last time I went and I call him up arrange a meeting and it’s at his garage. He looks at the bike and he fixes it and I gave him 5$. That’s why I only go to him and the West Covina Schwinn guy next to Edwards.

Today started off great swapmeet, swimming, then the mall…

I walk outside to discover my NEW bike vandalized! My Leader frame had “FUCK ME!” SCRIBED on it.. I call mall security and they come to take a report and yadadadaaaa and I go inside to find a guy that I saw that might have seen what happened I was only gone less than 10 minutes and my handlebars are just hanging there.. The only thing keeping them from taking my bars was the brake cable and they tried cutting that too but I came right on time. I think it was 2 kids riding on bikes because they were riding around peeking around the corners and disappeared when security showed up then again the second time.. My bike has been almost jacked twice from MY knowledge. But my trusty “Bike Club” lock and “Kryptonite” chain lock has saved it probably more times than I know. Too bad locks aren’t enough to stop bitches from being jealous and fucking with my bike… Unlike other kids with their fixed gear bikes I worked for mine. I built mine up, it took alot of trial and error EXTRA error, and I take care of it and use it to get from place to place and where I need to be… 

So all I’m saying is… CAN ALL BIKE JACKERS DIE AND GO TO HELL?!

So Friday I visited my girlfriend we just made up from a big fight. We are in her kitchen then her grandfather, who isn’t a big fan of me at all, starts bitching. Here is a few things I can remember he said to me:

“Why are you here?” “I don’t like to see your face around here!” 

Then his son who lives there that is probably 50 something gets in on it..

“You no respect anybody in this house.”

I didn’t do anything to these people… I have never once talked back when they talk their shit I have only been like “Okay.. Okay..” “I haven’t done anything to you.” Just taking all their shit. All I do is go visit my gf stay in the room she shares with her brother and watch netflix play Animal Crossing and eat. I always try to put a smile on when I pass by them and all I get are harsh looks.. It takes alot to try to be nice to these people when all they do is talk shit.. OH! I remembered another thing they said, but in Filipino “I can hit you/beat you/kill you and not get in trouble because this is my house!” 

Ugh… People like that shouldn’t bother me but it’s at the point where I can just give them a piece of my mind…

I guess it’s only natural for people to look up and ask those hard questions about life. On those hard days where things go bad, things go wrong you look up and actually scream at the sky, “WHY?!”. You lay down on your bed and look up at the ceiling thinking about the questions in life that haunt you thinking, “Maybe the answers will draw itself out for me in this “cottage cheese shit” on the ceiling?”. Walking or biking home, you get that flat and don’t have a spare innertube and it’s Sunday and all the bike shops around you are closed… Fuck. Idk why but I rode around for hours today with a flat back tire looking for somewhere to buy a replacement innertube.. Maybe it wasn’t the innertube I was really searching for. I still don’t know what it is.. Life is hard and may seem unfair sometimes, I keep looking back and think, “Where did I go wrong??”. A lot of memories come to mind I took the wrong path and made the wrong decisions in life a ton of times. I’ve tried making up for things and tried getting onto the path of finding out who I am, what I want to do, where I want to be in life in the future, and who I want to be with in the future… I love photography, I love hanging out with my friends, I love biking, I love my girlfriend.. We used to lay in the park that was practically right behind her old house. Everyday we used to go there and do nothing. We would stare up at the sky together and idk what she would be thinking I knew we were happy. Where did those days go? We would fight but we would talk and communicate and work it out together. Our motto was, “There’s no fight worth winning if we lose each other.” But, now it’s so hard. I changed into a horrible, bitch.. Idk.. I just know that she isn’t as understanding anymore.. I missed that, you would yell and cuss but after you got all that out your system you would listen, understand, then communicate your side and we would work on those problems. I know I should just take all that yelling and cussing because I know you don’t mean it all but I have a bad temper now. Idk if it’s my current living situation and the stress of my life… I think it’s because I left my family because I hated how they treated me and you. And I know how they treated me and how I let them treat me like that made you mad for not sticking up for myself, but I would stick up for myself against you.. And we would fight because of that and how you would tell me to not let them do that to me.. So I just left that behind so I wouldn’t deal with that and we wouldn’t have fights over that anymore. I guess the thing is.. I miss staring up at the same sky with you in the grass in the park and having you nap on my chest and then hearing the ring of the bells of the “corn man” and running across the field to get us our corn and walking slowly back home so we could spend more time together and talk and laugh and the next day do the same thing and being happy holding hands and kissing and forgetting where we were and who everyone else was looking into each others eyes and knowing that it was us in love and not caring about the world laughing at each others jokes and talking non-stop about anything and everything and taking pictures daily and the dreams our dreams.. Our love.. I can never forget it. I miss it, I hope you read this and think the same thing and we work things out because I can;t stand to be alone one more night and not knowing where you are and if you are thinking of me or not.. I’m sorry.

I’m not going to let my life go to waste.

(Source: jonathanedralin)

Spotted this in the HDC thread on sufu. This is the reason why my next pair of denims will be Iron Hearts.

they are so fucked up now… I shall get them repaired soon and wear them until I feel like they need to be retired.